My Husband is Trying to Help My Brother

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Yum, my coffee tastes so good today.

I love my Mom, otherwise I would be what the courts describe as one of those uncaring people that does not want their elderly parents and just lets them go to the system, basically. It's more than just that I love her, I am morally obligated to care for her and I have a responsibility to care for her in her advancing years as well. She made the choice not to care for herself, although she could do so, because she has addiction problems.

My 76-year-old Mom decided she wanted to take too many pills one day and the court decided she will live with me and my family now instead of in her own home with my brother leeching off of her. My Mom is not happy with this choice and she does not like others making choices for her; I do not blame her for that and it does strip her of a measure of her dignity. However, she did hand some of that over when she took those pills and landed herself in the ICU on three occasions. Now I am legal guardian and conservator on a non-minor (and unwilling participant).

The brother of mine that still lives in my Mom's house was supposed to be caring for her but had her addicted to pills, among them methadone, which he was also addicted to. Why? For his sole benefit, I can only imagine. I don't know my brother could expect to gain respect from anyone. However, my husband still treats him kindly and in his own words, "looks out for the well-being and best interests" of my brother.

Now my brother finds himself in a home upside down in a pointless loan (in his parents' name and as her guardian I am not paying any more on it - my father died in July 2008) . My brother needs to get out of that house and really live on his own and be responsible for once -- he's 44 years old. He's a business owner and scared about the economy and just found out he's diabetic and he's overweight. He has reason to be scared and I feel for him because he's my brother but he also has to make his own way, we all do.

My husband is bending over backwards trying to help my brother out and I am trying to help him lose weight and with his diabetes. He lives out of state and I don't think he's going to take care of himself because he's never shown signs of it before; he procrastinates and just has a whole slew of problems that I don't want to get into.

My brother is going behind our backs to make choices that benefit him solely. He is not helpful to my Mom and he does not have her best interests at heart. My husband, however, does.

My husband is always the loving person with my brother and my Mom. He talks kindly and quietly where I tend to get more upset by the relationships involved. My husband is the best ever and I could not do all of this without his peace and love.