Chick-Fil-A Muzac

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My SIL wanted to get the same muzac as Chick-Fil-A on satellite. Hm, I don't think it's wide open 4 public use, not that exact one maybe.

 

My Sister-In-Law With Her Issues

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. S.L.M. 5.8.08 @ 12:29 p.m.

Wow, this has got to be a common subject for blogs around the globe, I would think. Well this holiday weekend my brother and his wife and my year and a half nephew came to visit. They flew in just two hours away when it would be an eight hour drive. Traveling with a small child is rough; I know since I have two young kids myself. It probably worked out better flying but it was a lot more expensive.

My brother just found out he is diabetic and insulin dependent. He is having a hard time dealing with the whole thing; mostly feeling that it is a life sentence. He is carrying a book about carb counting. Both of our parents are diabetic (father is type 1 and mother type 2). My other brothers both have blood sugar problems - diagnosed at the same age as this brother. I had gestational diabetes with one pregnancy and two large babies so I have to be careful and thus lost 90 pounds and watch my diet and exercise.

Anyway, diabetes could be around the corner for me so I am very careful. However, I feel for my brother because it is rough and he is having a hard time finding options in the real world and dealing with life in this whole new place of the diabetic life. Since I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy, I took nutritional classes and I have been on a diabetic diet for health reasons at another time, so I was helping him during their stay. I wanted him to feel encouraged and that he was not the only one. I also do not eat sugar and that helped me lose the weight that I lost.

My sister-in-law, his wife, is one of the most pickiest people I have ever met - if not the pickiest person I know. She is a picky eater and picky about where she goes, what she does and most anything else. She is extremely picky to where it makes everyone uncomfortable.

This pickiness came to an ugly head during the visit this last weekend. It was the July 4th weekend. My husband wanted to take the family to the best fireworks display he has ever heard of , and voted the best in the whole northern half of the state if not even a larger area. So we gave them a choice and they even said that was fine. We let them know ahead of time what this resort, beach and water park would entail. They seemed perfectly fine with it being a water park. They said they had even brought their swimming suits and their young son would be fine.

It takes 1 1/2 hours to get to this place from where we live. We drove so the family could save gas money on their rental car. We all fit in our family van and that helped entertain the toddler. We arrived at the place at about 3 p.m. because that is how long it takes them to get ready and eat a meal and get going. It never took me that long when both of my kids were that little. They would have starved if I made them wait that long.

When we got there, my husband, who is FRUGAL even paid for them. Admission for adults is normally $30.00 per person - UG - but it had been reduced to $14. He said he would have paid anyway. He wanted to treat them to a good time.

So we got in and we had brought drinks and everything, including a shade umbrella, chairs, and even the nicest sunscreen money can buy (they forgot sunscreen). We get there and they c decide where they want to sit. My husband is all about letting them decide where to sit because he wants them to enjoy themselves. I agreed with him but this whole time, mind you, I am basically in the middle because my husband is very quiet natured so he is being misunderstood from what I can gather from them. I also do not like people to think badly of my husband, let alone speak badly of him. That really gets me going.

So we finally get situated in a spot on the beach and it's near a water area for the tot. He immediatley takes off running and listens to no one. The parents have no control whatsoever over their son. My kids are 9 and 6 and well behaved and they are playing in the sand and just watch while the little kid takes off running and then screams when the parents try to catch him and hold his hand. I can tell this is not going to go well. Their son just wants to run freely but they do not want to catch him and keep up with him so they try to make a 15 month old sit down on the beach . Ya, have fun with that guys.

My husband just sits back because the sister-in-law is pissy already and not liking this a bit. Although she knew exactly what this place was going to be like and that the fireworks would start at dark. My husband wants to wait and see what is going to happen. Should we eat, what? SIL is never happy, no matter what.

Neither one of the parents want to get up and care for the child. However, when I get up to care for him or my husband does, SIL gets upset and says, "I don't want him (her son, the toddler) to be too much trouble for you. So she acts all irritated.

Now we changed into swimwear. SIL had not previously been wearing hers, so she goes to change. I was sitting at the beach spot watching everyone's things. I was not wearing my suit yet and I was going to change but I made it very clear that I was going to stay put and watch everything when she went to change and I would watch the child.

She took her toddler with her to change into her swimsuit and it was a nightmare. She did that for dramatic effect. She comes back pissed off. She showed me her bra where her hair got caught in it because "it was hot in the bathroom and disgusting and he was climbing all over me and piss diaper got all over me and it was disgusting." Ok, why did you take him in there then? Didn't I say I would watch him? Nut job! Her husband, my brother, is right there and asked her why she took him with her and she says something stupid about how she doesn't want to bother anyone. Oh you are BOTHERING us alright. B word.

So we were there for a litlte while, her going to where the water rinses the sand off of people and that is all the more SIL ventured out. She did not take her son to the kiddy water park area, the wave pool, the slides or anything. We brought water wings for him and noodles and several other things. She sat in the shade under the beach umbrella and griped whenever I got out of earshot about how mad she thought everyone was at her.

The kid is wasted tired because they do not know about kids + naps = peace in the home. So the kid is tipsy like crazy. He looks like a drunk and he cannot control himself. He fell over in the water rinsing area and scraped his leg and cried. If he had been rested that might not have happened. I felt badly for him. He was having a blast. They live minutes from the beach and he's only been maybe once because they never go out, ever.

My brother and his wife used to eat out every single meal, daily. Now they are trying to "cut back" They realize that is not only unreal expensive but not practical with a toddler that is out of control and 'won't' sit in a highchair. (Who is training who?) He screams, throws food, knocks full glasses of beverages over and is a basic nightmare.

My nephew is one of those kids you see, and hear at other tables in a restaurant and you want to get very far away from. You will hear the child's name said no less than 50 times during the meal; a horrible experience always. Usually someone loses their appetite or something bad happens. I've just never had that happen, it is horrendous. It happened during this family visit. My husband was mortified and people stared and the waitresses had to clean stuff up off of the floor and we walked away and left shoe prints on the restaraunt foor from liquid and good and it was just disgusting. This was mayhem and I so wish I had been no part of that. It never had to happen that way and they are not happy and neither is their child; it is so pitiful.

My husband said that he was at the place for a reason and took our sons to go on some water slides. I searched for a locker so that I could leave our valuables locked up and venture out too. Since it was July 4th, the place was very busy, and all of the lockers were taken. I had my wallet and my husband's so I had to stay with them at the beach were we were. Fun times at the beach with cranky pants lady, yay.

There were drinks on ice for everyone. Since my brother is diabetic, I brought him some and her some and even the tot some. She, SIL, was the only one who refused to drink anything. Fine, don't drink anything. She got up and took him to the sand washing mushroom shaped water sprinkler again. Maybe she could cool off again, since she has a "heat intolerance" and lives in Florida with 90+ degree days and 100% humidity all summer long.

So my brother and I talked a little bit on the beach and that was nice. It was a tiny bit relaxing. The weather was beautiful with a perfect breeze the whole time off the lake and could not have been nicer. The beach is manmade on a lake and the sun went behind the clouds more than half of the time so we had a nice break from the heat.

We were about 50 feet give or take from the water mushroom rinsing thing. It was easy for SIL to go cool off but she was very unhappy, clearly. Before my husband even left to go on the slides, we had agreed we would go right after he got back.

Things continued to deteriorate while my husband was gone but at least our kids got to experience the water park, or at least some of it.

At one point SIL got very irritated and she had her son on her hip and had taken her purse. My brother and I were talking. I didn't know how mad she was but when she got back it became evident. She had brought snacks with her to feed her son but she wanted to get him more food while we were there, so that is what she had set off to do.

When he and the kids got back, about thirty minutes later, they asked if I could go with them to at least one slide. They said it was very fun.

When Life Changed to Help With Family Biz

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This whole process has been exhaustive. I am tired and cranky and over it. Saturday, 4.12.08 was when my life changed from this whole work thing; volunteering to help.

It all started last Saturday afternoon when my husband told me that his sister's husband's business competitor was going down and those customers were all flooding over to her the family's business. He told me about it and said he was volunteering me to go and help. I was fine with it anyway and I went over to help without hesitation.

When I got there I found the disheveled employees who had been working nonstop and they were frazzled. They were not prepared for this workload having been dumped upon them. I jumped right in and learned what was required. One of the business owners was about to go out of town for two weeks on a volunteer ministry assignment so this was going to further complicate matters. The main person in the office was not versed on the technical aspect of things, just sales and a limited amount even at that.

Right away I learned the sales part and taking orders. The orders were from the customers switching over from the other company which was going down or just plain not informing its customers. The DS*L company did not provide service, billed its customers the day before it shut down, and then provided no information and its phone became disconnected. The business office was dark and there was no one inside to assist any customers. The customers were irate to say the least. These were exceptional customers and I could not believe they had been treated this way from their prior provider.

It was not difficult to catch on to what was required with the job, for the most part, but the hours were grueling. For two weeks I basically did not see my kids. My husband took them camping on a trip we had planned for over a year. I still feel awful that I missed that trip. I also missed a funeral. My sister-in-law attended yet a different funeral during this same two week span. The co-owner of the business was still out of town the whole time, conducting conferences at night and into the wee hours of the morning with the employees. It was a crazy time.

After the two weeks time span, they asked me to work again for another one week time frame. This time I was not at their offices but in my own location, which I liked better. I had VOIP and it was a better setup since I could be with my kids and family more (the whole reason I work from home to begin with).

So in total, it was three weeks that I worked to help with the family business.

In order to help out with family and basically just for moral support, I wanted to volunteer. Just recently, three months after the whole thing went down, they offered me a check for compensation. We had never discussed money at all. I had told them I only wanted to do this as a favor for family and that I would not leave family hanging.

They insisted that I take the check even after I pursued the idea that I had volunteered my time. I was just glad that the whole thing was over! I really was so glad it was over and I did not want there to be any bad feelings of any kind and I truly was volunteering to stick with family and help out. I even stayed with my sister-in-law for moral support for a while because she was having a rough time. I think I even overstayed my welcome.

We were supposed to go camping together and we never got to go because of that business and the time it took away. It made me sad because it took time away from other things too, like a few parties and the funeral I mentioned. It was for a very young 19 year old married man that our family has known the family of, and the bride's family, for many years.

Work can eat up time. Work should have its place, just like money should have its place. Work is for money and money is for living but neither should overwhelm to the point that they become the most important thing. Then a person will be all alone and sad working for money. There sure won't be more family or time or love because of money that people have worked for.

I love my family very much and I have to be careful how much I work and how I am with money because it influences and involves my family.

The In-Laws Out-Laws Thing

My Family: I happen to live closer to my in-laws, all of them, than I do my own family, any of them. My family all lives out of state. My in-laws all live down the road from me and I see them several times per week. The close proximity of the in-laws is coincidental. The out-of-state family thing is ok with me and not a big deal. I am not close to my own family and I have never had a close mother/daughter relationship so that is fine. She started to want to get close to me after I got married and of course after the birth of her grandkids, the latter of which is understandable. So the family thing gets tricky for me. My parents also do not like my in-laws, for reasons different than mine. My kids stay overnight frequently with all of my in-laws, which I have no problem at all with - I respect all of my extended family and I would like my kids to as well. (Side point here, I could totally go for some tomatoes and fresh mozzarella - yummy).

The In-Laws: I have two sister-in-laws, his two younger sisters, and my husband's parents who are my in-laws. I have had a problem with my in-laws almost from the beginning (notice I say "I have had a problem" - everyone I am sure, would say they are all fine - I am the strange one). I think I could say from before the beginning I have had the problem. I guess most people could say they do and if you do not, you are fortunate. I have thought for years that the problem with my in-laws stemmed from me. I became overweight for a few years and I thought that the reason they didn't like me was because I was fat. I really believed this and I just knew that if I were to lose weight, my in-laws would like me. They have never really liked me.

One Time: I remember one particularly embarrassing moment when my husband had basically had enough of that scenario (me wondering why they didn't like me and if it had to do with self-image). So we were at the dinner table and he straight out asked them if they liked me. I wanted to crawl under the dinner table and pretend I did not exist, ever. I had an out-of-body experience where I thought it almost was not happening, but it was.

The one sister-in-law who can just walk away while you are still talking to her, or completely ignore her while she and you are still both standing there, slid her chair away from the table and made her escape. The other sister-in-law, my husband's youngest sister, stayed because I guess she was the most caught, and said, as though I was not still in the room, "Ya, I sort of like Sharon, she's ok." Now I was choking. This was early on in our marriage and I really didn't know her that well and neither had I given her any reason to strongly dislike me. She did not know me either. How do you walk away from that with a face left on your face? Aw now that was rough. I remember it as clear as day and that was about twelve years ago.

Effects: It is not good to remember things that are not healthy for me but I do it all of the time. This has been bad in my marriage. My husband also tells me how it is not good to remember every little bad thing, which of course I do not do (remember every bad thing) but I do remember a lot of bad stuff and the effects are not good. It is just a big pain the way things are with the in-laws.